An Explanation

Ok, so the title of this blog is a bit misleading.

Peoople might begin to read these and think, "What does she have to be "mad" about with just one kid?"

Truth be told, yes my son and husband drive me crazy on a daily basis, but see it isn't like a long ride or anything. I have resided on the edge of crazy town for many years now.

And when I say crazy I don't mean like crazy in a negative way, but more like fun crazy....like Robin Williams crazy not Britney Spears crazy...get it?

So the title "Mad Momma" is actually a play on two things:

1. I am crazy.

2. "Mad" is sort of short for "Maddox"

Oh, that makes sense, right? Just like my jewelry company "Mad Hen Jewelry". I'm genius.

No, really I like things to have meaning or at least a background story.

So when I'm a multi gazillionare from selling tons of jewelry and my blog being syndicated I can tell people the oh so cute story of how I named both....

Hey, this is my blog, I can dream, right??

Boys are Dumb

I understand lesbians.

Boys are dumb.

However, it is nice to be snuggled by a big strong man every once and a while, right? Hmmmm...now let me just think of the last time that happened....

Boys are dumb.

My husband gets mad when I say that, but it is so true.

How else can it be explained that a wife can be super cool and a guy not even try to be super cool?

Why does the woman have to put forth all the effort to plan elaborate schemes for holidays and anniversaries and the guys are like, "Oh, I forgot."

Boys are dumb.

Do we perhaps see a pattern?

Men gripe about how incredibly complicated women are.

Ok, perhaps some are, but I'm not.

I told my husband exactly what to do to keep me happy for the rest of our lives.

1. Make it a point to compliment and thank me at least a few times a week.
2. Bring me flowers or right me a little love note at least once a week.
3. If you come into the kitchen and I'm feeding the baby or doing dishes or cooking dinner, wrap your arms around me and kiss me. (oh, and let me tell ya, all wrongs are forgiven when this happens)
4. When I ask you to do something, please do it in a timely manner. (like installing Microsoft Office on my computer like I asked for 2 WEEKS AGO)
AND FINALLY:
5. On some random day announce: "Honey, you deserve a break. Me and the baby are going out for a while. Don't clean while we're gone, instead drink some hot tea and read a book." Bonus if the tea is already made, dishes are done, and laundry has been changed.

Is that really all that difficult? I'm not one of those wives that gets all worked up over stupid stuff, but seriously, when I tell you exactly what to do....how hard is this???

Evidently pretty hard. Because I then ask the man why he doesn't just do what he asked to do, as I do what is asked of me....he says, "I don't know."

Boys are dumb.

Serenity Now!

I hope and pray that everyone has that one place on this Earth where they can escape to. It is heavenly to know that no matter how bad things get, there is always one place you can go that you feel safe, secure, and content. For me, this place is my Aunt Cris's and Uncle David's house.

When I was little I would spend a couple weeks there during summer, and now as an adult I go as often as possible. Before we got pregnant, Robert and I would try to make it over there at least once a month, calling it "Shafter Bed n Breakfast". There have been many times I've gone by myself and I have even brought some of my friends to my little oasis.

My aunt and uncle have lived on the same plot of land for at least the last ten years. It's about 40 acres in the middle of the American heartland. Driving to their house, you pass a multitude of corn fields and cow patties. They own six horses, I think, at last count and three cows. It's less of a farm though, and more of a ranch.

They built their own custom home a few years back making more room for family get togethers and of course for me and my family to come and stay for the weekend or even a week here and there.

Maddox, my son, loves to go. He loves his cousin Sophie, which is my cousin Skylar's two year old daughter that lives there with them. Of course, Robert and I love Sophie, too!

There isn't really anything special that we do there, it's just so relaxing.

In the winter, we light up the fireplace and watch movies...in the spring and fall we have bonfires out in the pasture...in the summer we sit outside and sip tea while watching the horses.

The new house has a gorgeous gourmet kitchen, which I love because there is nothing I love more than preparing dinner for my whole family.

My cousins got a pool table for Christmas, so I will sometimes go down into the basement and hang out, however, that is considered "the dungeon" and often wreaks of "boy".

Maddox and I are leaving this Saturday morning to stay there for at least a week and I cannot wait!

However, this time will likely be quite a bit different.

Last week my aunt had a hysterectomy, so I am not going just simply to relax, but rather to help her and to take care of Sophie because her daddy works nights. I know we will still have fun, especially having someone to be with all day!

So, for now I am counting down the hours until I get to leave this house that mostly does not feel like "home" and go to the one place on Earth I feel at home.

Finances

I had always dreamed that life would be perfect once I grew up.

I'm not saying that my life isn't wonderful, it is, however it is far from perfect.

Did everybody think they would be wealthy? It's not that I wanted to be wealthy per say, at least I don't now, but I would really just like to be able to pay my bills and buy what my family needs without having to worry. Is this so much to ask?

These days it seems that a college education does not even guarantee you a job. While many people now have these degrees, I think that it doesn't give you the competitive edge that it used to. Now meager jobs (like those I've had in the past) require a bachelors degree and they want to ten bucks an hour!

How ridiculous is it to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a degree to make ten bucks an hour?

Also, these are predominantly female fields (secretarial type positions). Yet the type of "office" jobs men take with the same level of degree seem to pay much more. While the same positions normally pay equal amounts for men and women (well, overall) it seems that those with the same level of education make drastically different amounts depending on their gender.

What does this have to do with anything?

Our economy is in the hole and that still does not make those feel better that are struggling. The fact that ten other families on my street are in the same boat as my family (or worse) does not make it easier when thinking of the future.

What can we do to fix it? Help our neighbors?

I received a cute little flier from my local Christian store a couple weeks back when I went in to get some books, it said that we should make it a point to choose our locally owned businesses over the big corporations (WalMart, Target, etc). I agree whole heartily. And if we had the money the hubs and I would choose local produce over Walmart's, mainly because I HATE Walmart with a passion.

However, we cannot afford to buy everything from local shops. Most people can't either right now and that is what is killing the local economy.

I live in a very accessible area. Everything is within five minutes from my house, well mostly, if not five then ten or fifteen tops. Some businesses over three or four stores within a ten mile radius of my home, some even more. What is this telling us?

1. We are lazy.
2. Convenience rules.
3. Something needs to change.

I was relieved when some of the Starbucks had to close. Goodness, they were starting to pop up on every corner.

Things were going too good for too long, the bubble has been flirting with bursting for quite some time. Now the bubble has popped, everybody is broke, and business is screwed.

The figures came out yesterday that things are only going to get worse through the end of the year. However, President Obama is just acting like we have all the money in the world.

Well, technically we do.

See, all they keep doing is having the fed print more and more money.

Can it be backed up by gold, like it is supposed to be? And China is sick of giving us money because they realize that our dollar is worth nothing. The global market is seriously discussing moving to a new currency, possibly a one world type.

But yet nobody seems to be taking notice. AND those of us who do are considered right wing radical nuts. Well, I guess that's what I am, because I need a real job and there are none out there!

Blogging

A blog on blogging....

How original.

I have a lot of spare time, time which I try to fill with housework...ok, that's totally a lie. What a way to draw the reader in, lie to them!

Ok, so usually I'm playing Mafia Wars or some other stupid game on the computer or watching television.

I do actually do some housework everyday, normally laundry, dishes, and making of the bed. All of these tasks normally begin at 3:05ish because the hubby gets home at 3:50ish.

My son takes up a good portion of my day. He is seven months old and requires much attention, mainly entertainment and food. He loves his food.

I enjoy cooking, but you would not know it by the mass amounts of quick and easy food I purchase. Cooking takes time, I don't have time. Time is very broken by fussy baby. Now, occassionally I will put forth the effort and create a seriously good meal, and then the hubs will come home and inform me that he does not like this meal. Argh. So, I have given up on the domestic diva-ness.

My house stays clean. My family stays fed, trust me, we are fed well. And all is well.

However, I spend most of my day thinking of what to do to waste the time.

Sad, this I know.

So, I figure, why not start a beautiful blog that I can use to reach people, rant, and just have fun with.

This may just turn into ranting, trust me I love to rant and I have a gift for the gab. God has been good to me in the deparment of expression. I overly express.

There are three things my husband knows for sure about me:
1. I can talk very well.
2. I am a clumsy woman (my bruises come from inanimate objects like the coffee table or book shelf, not my husband beating me)
3. I am insane.

So, why not share my pure insanity with the public?

In high school I wrote for an underground, online school newspaper. I wrote cunning articles about society, education, and oppression, my fellow writers penned topics such as "How to Sleep in Class". Evidently I was ahead of my time.

Writing has always been a passion for me. I like to think I have a little talent, but really it does not matter being that very few will probably ever actually see these blogs.

So, I hope you enjoy my new endeavor. If anything, you will at least get the joy of seeing just how incredibly insane I truly am!