Rainy Days

Sometimes I like rainy days. Summer rain is the best, especially when there is no wind, maybe just a breeze, and I can have the windows open.

Storms are the best. I can always tell when it is going to storm, even hours before it happens. There is an electricity to the air, it makes me feel tingly. The air becomes thick with anticipation, and it always makes the fans in my house whir a little...differently. Normally this happens the day before night storms. Night storms are beautiful, they light up the sky and rumble the ground.

When I was little, I feared storms. I had good reason to, though. We lived in the flat lands and tornadoes were always a threat. Now it is a little different. There is a fear of tornadoes, but I have become so educated in the anatomy of storms that I understand them better. Plus, living in the hills of Missouri gives me a bit more comfort.

Today is a dreary rain. A late winter rain that is teasing us with a slight coolness, almost as if nature is saying, "Spring is almost here! Can you not feel it?"

Oh, I can feel it.

The only thing I love more than spring is autumn. Oh, autumn is beautiful and there is a crispness to the air that is found no other time of year. I despise the depth of summer and more than despise winter, but those in between times of spring and autumn are gorgeous. When nature can't decide if it wants to be hot or cold, and all so often settles in the middle. I want to live where it is like that year round.

People tell me all the time, "But you would miss the seasons! What would you do without snow? You can't go swimming unless it is really hot out." My answer? No, I would certainly not miss the seasons. I abhor snow and could live happily ever after without ever seeing it again. And summer? Bleh, hot summer days are long and cause very high electric bills.

No, I could be very happy without the two extremes. Give me an open house with panoramic ocean views and that would make me happy. Oh, to dream.

what might have been

The hubby and I had a nice lunch today. We had a nice conversation, too. We were just talking and he said that sometimes he wonders what his life would have been like had we not married and had a kid. I asked him what he saw and he said that he would probably be playing a lot of video games, but his house would look much the same. I said he would probably weight 300 pounds, too!

He asked me what my life would be. I said I would probably be about 120 pounds, be living in a beach house with my golden retriever Max and I would have a David Boreanaz look a like boyfriend. My house would be more eclectic, more me. Fresh flowers, canopy bed, vibrant colors, bookshelves everywhere, a breakfast nook just for reading and writing (because I would of course be a writer). I would not have a television at all. I watch a lot of TV, but really only because there is nothing else to do. I could easily live without the thing though.

I could go on and on about my gourmet kitchen and crazy social life, but why? I really do appreciate what I have, but I can't help but wonder how things could have turned out differently. I am fulfilling that "mommy" "wifey" side of me, but that other crazy, eccentric side is crying to get out!

Why can't I have it all? I really don't know. It feels like it has to be all or nothing. I mean, I am a bit eccentric and rebellious now, but only to an extent. I still feel like I could be so much more, but I have to make compromises. See the muted tones of my home, the ever present television...one step at a time I suppose.

Novel

Back in the day, I used to love to write. I had a dream of writing a novel someday. Now I am thinking about writing that novel. If I get published, I want to use the money to open my all boy store! Dream upon a dream.

So here is my book idea so far:

Title: Can't tell you, I would have to kill you

Plot: Well, pretty much a novel about my life and what goes on in my life. Honestly, it could be quite interesting! Sort of my take on life, my perspective. I plan to write it under a pseudonym because I will reveal all! So, even if I DO get published, none of my friends will ever know!! Trust me, it will be interesting. I would read this book mainly just to know that there are other people like me....however, if there are not other people like me, I might be in trouble!!!