Intelligence

So it has been a few weeks since I last posted.

I was in Illinois staying with my aunt and she has slower internet. Plus, I was quite busy with my kiddo and my cousin's little girl.

I did, however, find time to write a blog. (Yes, actually physically put pen to paper, which happens to be my favorite way to write.)

Here it is:

You know nothing until you have a child.

I love it when teen girls look at me as though I am just the chunky, ditzy chick before them, but I am so much more.

I always think, "I used to be that." AND sometimes I'll even get a pang of jealousy because my body was truly once a size 4 and my now husband, then boyfriend, once worshipped me.

So, for a second I regret so many choices and my stretch marks ache with an ache that is indescribable. But then I look at my little boy and just don't care anymore.

Oh, and more than teeny boppers criticize me. But their words and looks mean nothing when compared to that which is said to me and about me behind my back by people who claim to be my friends, and worst of all, those who are my family.

It does not bother me if they are critical of my weight, I too know I need to lose quite a few pounds.

Criticism of my style, beliefs, or any of those things are not offensive to me and never have been.

However, when people choose to critique the one thing I feel I try my hardest at, the one thing that currently defines me, it hurts like nothing else.

I may not be the perfect mom, but I am better than most I know. If my baby needs me, I'm there. If he is bored, I will burst out in song and dance...yes, even in the aisle at WalMart.

See, I don't care what others think about my personality and my mental stability, as long as my little man is laughing.

Being a mom is hard. Being a stay at home mom is even harder because I don't get a break for days or weeks on end. But all it takes is for my little man to smile and all the world is better and those who don't like my choices can just keep it to themselves!