Journals

For my counseling class I have to write two journals per week. We are given topics to write on, which is not so bad. I figured I would put a couple on here (the ones I don't mind sharing) just because I hate to waste that much time just for my teacher to see it:

Chapter 1
Wow, picking out my worst traits is not easy. Well, I do not want to admit that it is easy. To put it nicely, I am a bossy, short-tempered, impatient control freak. These same traits could be translated into being positive: I know what I want, when I want it, how I want it, and I want it yesterday or sooner, if possible. Does that not sound a little better? These traits could of course not fare too well in an environment that normally fosters long term results rather than short term or immediate ones.
Controlling could definitely become an issue when working with clients. I already see myself trying to tell people how to solve their problem instead of helping them work towards it. This is something that has actually caused me to seek the help of a professional to overcome. I am trying to figure out my own “stuff” so I can help others.
So, one may ask, why do I have an interest in becoming a counselor? That would be due to my positive traits. I am compassionate about my work, empathetic towards others and their particular situations and I am excellent at taking in the whole picture before making a judgment. I think before I act, I just think much more quickly than the normal person.
I do fear that my want to control all situations will get in the way. How do I change this? I do not want to give up control. In all honesty, beyond my career choice, I do not see where giving up my control will benefit me. Thus far in life it has served me well. I have an inability to trust other people to make the proper decisions. I take nothing anyone says at face value, I question everything. I do not question outwardly, but I do play it out in my head to see if it makes sense, and then I observe and pay attention to see if the story holds. This trait cannot be good for counseling, but maybe it can.
I see through people when they are lying. Is this really such a horrible thing? I am almost never wrong when my sixth sense kicks in and tells me to not trust, at least not that I know of. So, maybe I should fear this trait less and use it to my advantage. Since I am going into rehab counseling, maybe it will serve me very well.