It doesn't feel real.
In two weeks we will be leaving our home for a small apartment.
There are some things I'm looking forward to: smaller bills, a pool, nice neighborhood to take walks in, and just a simpler life. However, I have to sell so many things. Plus, moving itself is a pain.
I suppose it just hasn't hit me full force either. Well, that isn't true. When we went to look at the apartment and sign the lease, oh it hit me. Seeing that tiny place, four rooms, ugh. We lived in an apartment before with two dogs and a cat, and it was a one bedroom, but I'm just so confused about it. I am looking forward to painting and decorating, but then we have to live there.
Did I mention it is on the top floor? Ugh.
This whole situation is just not fair. But we could have gone the easy route, there were people (many, in fact) that offered to help with our bills, but we didn't want to do that. We want to do it on our own, unlike so many others that we know.
So, I am just hoping that we can sell the things we need to so that we can start buying the stuff we need for the apartment. And maybe in two weeks, I'll be ok.
26.7.10
lost
Posted by madmomma at 13:39
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3 comments:
i've never had a house..ever..in my entire life..never been raised in one..never resided in one..so I can't say that I know exactly what you are feeling but I'm sorry you are having to go through it. I know how much I want a house to raise my kids in..even willing to rent it instead of buy it just to give them that much space..I know better than most how small apartments are..trying being the middle of 7 kids in a three bedroom apartment..not an easy fit let me tell you! So yeah I don't want that for myself or for my kids. I also realize that we have to live within our means and if that means an apartment then that's just we have to do no matter how much it sucks. I don't understand the losing of a home but I do understand the longing of one and it's taken me a while to realize it but it's not the house itself that I long for but what it stands for..stability, secruity, roots, all things that I've never had.
Growing up I moved a lot. So it was nice to think that this would be our home for a while. I lived in small apartments and rental houses most of my childhood, so I'm used to living small. But over the last 3 years I got used to having something that was just mine and my husband's. A place to call home, a sanctuary to come to...
Huge hugs! Though I have not walked in your shoes, I appreciate my home and all that it represents. My Dad has been out of work for 2 years and we must carry some of that load. That old cliche a home is where the heart is really does ring true here. Great way to keep positive inspite of sadness!
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